A New Year

I havent posted in ages as i havent been beading much.Summer in Australia is hard,the humidity just wipes me out and when its 30c at night its hard to sleep and hard to think in the day.
I am also in a strange headspace as i am about to turn 50 next month,and as i have been ill over half my life wonder were the time went,and how i will get through another year.
My last 2 female friends left me,one grew apart and the other dropped me hard out of nowhere with a "dearJulia" email which hurt like hell,i could understand if she was healthy and had a life but she was as ill as me,plus we had lots to talk about,it hurts.
I have been buying beads and have a couple of projects on the go,waiting for some delicas to arrive from the US,but feel flat,friendless and tired.
I bought a lotus pendant and will photograph it tomorrow,its very sweet and light and has swarovski tiny crystals added to it,lotus are my thing at the moment
I have a koala outside my room tonight grunting his head off very loudly,they make he wirdest noise but are almost impossible to get on camera.